


On Another Side of The Rift

by MercurialComet



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Character Study, Fix-It of Sorts, Gen, Moral Ambiguity, Out of Character, VLD writiers are cowards and I'm a pissed polymathical gay who's gonna fix it.
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-24
Updated: 2018-08-11
Packaged: 2019-06-15 17:45:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15418239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MercurialComet/pseuds/MercurialComet
Summary: Lotor woke up on the cold ground of a planet. His head in severe pain, body shivering due to the cold. Opening his eyes hurt, taking a breath hurt, everything hurt, why did everything hurt him?Aka, I hated the shock writing in s6 in regards to Lotor and will write to fix it.Edit: Surprise, surprise, season 7 sucked too and man do I have stories to tell to fix as much shit as I can.





	1. The World Resets

**Author's Note:**

> a bit of this chapter talks about the morality of what goes on in this universe, and I'm not defending lotor, I'm just saying that some of the excuses where flimsy, dumb, and had no relevance to the actual situation.

Lotor woke up on the cold ground of a planet. His head in severe pain, body shivering due to the cold. Opening his eyes hurt, taking a breath hurt, everything hurt, why did everything hurt him?

* * *

 

He heard voices, so many voices, what were they saying? There was anger, joy, realization. He remembers getting picked up before he passes out again, looking into a tan male’s eyes of blue before his own closed.

He wakes back up in a lion, he doesn’t know which one. He’s lying down on a metal surface, feeling like he’s being cooked with the heat in the room. He attempts to get up, but straps across his chest, arms, and legs stopped him. He panicked, struggling, hoping to break the straps quietly.

 

He feels the lion shifting, adapting to the sudden change of the solar winds. The movement, plus his struggling causes the surface he’s on to roll, both revealing that he’s on a table with wheels and making a sound when it crashes against the wall, leaving him shaken, but unharmed. There’s a pause before he hears a voice, unable to figure out what they’re saying, but able to at least realise it’s on the deeper end of the spectrum, but only slightly.

 

It only takes a moment for someone to enter the room from the cockpit, the same person who picked him up cautiously approaching him as he still tried to free himself.

 

“Just give up,” they say, blue armor contrasting against the red light behind the door, “we already know the truth. You’re lucky Allura managed to space magic you out of the field.”

 

Lotor stops struggling, confused. “What did I do? What do you mean by the truth?” The questions fall out of his mouth before he can stop them, before his lessons with Honer- Haggar kicked in and he bit his tongue. Curiosity only held him back as a prince, tradition was what kept the empire safe. He didn’t know why he thought that wasn’t the whole truth.

 

The armored figure looks at him, now confused as well. “Do- do you not remember anything? What’s your name?”

 

“Lotor?” He didn’t know, he didn’t know what he knew. “Listen, if you want money, just let me go back to my father and he will reward you handsomely, just-” He can remember time passing, but there’s no detail, no stories to go along with it. It’s like he was in a vacuum and appeared strapped to a table yet again. “Can I please get off of this table?”

* * *

 

Lance has no clue what to expect, he has no clue on what’s happening. All he knows is that Lotor is looking up at him scared, alone, and unsure of himself and his heart breaks for the man, even after what the paladins were told. 

 

Lance smiles a smile full of regret, hope, and apologies before he speaks, hoping that he can pull of some sense of neutrality. “Let me go talk to the others, okay? I’ll see what I can do.” 

He feel conflicted when Lotor stops looking panicked and lets a small smile slip onto his face before pushing it back into neutrality.

 

He leaves the door open so the Galran can hear the conversation.

* * *

 

“Lance. This request is utterly moronic at best and downright insidious at worst.” Allura looked pissed, Romelle and Coran standing behind her as she spoke over the communications system. “Lotor is obviously trying to get some sort of upper hand.”

 

“I don’t know Princess.” Lance rubbed the back of his head, a nervous tic he had picked up over his time in space. “I don’t think he remembers a thing. He looked scared being strapped down to that table.”

 

“I’m pretty sure my brother was scared when he was getting the life sucked out of him, along with countless other Alteans.” Romelle countered. “Honestly, why are you even bringing this up?”

 

“Because he isn’t acting like Lotor, he actually seems confused on why he’s here!” There was a pause before Pidge started laughing.

 

“Are you serious Lance?” She crowed, putting Green on autopilot to lean back in her chair. “He’s probably trying to play you like a cheap piece of tech.”

 

“He does have a track record of being tricky.” Hunk argued. “Maybe he’s feeling double-crossy today, it wouldn’t be the first time he’s betrayed us.”

 

“Betrayed you?” Shiro perks up, at first staying out of the conversation because of how little he knew, but now alert after hearing danger may have come to his friends and family. “What did he do?”

 

“He killed hundreds, if not thousands of Alteans for his research! All for his own personal gain!”

 

“Do you have proof it was for his gain?”

 

Romelle blinked, stunned by the question. “What?”

 

“Do you have proof that all of that, what you just said, was for Lotor’s personal gain?” Shiro’s face, though neutral, betrayed power and strategy to Lance through the screen. He felt it was safe to assume that being in Black was doing the white-haired man some good.

 

“Well, no, but it’s still betraying our trust.” Allura’s voice was even. Hard, unflinchingly so very even. “He never let anyone know of his activities.”

 

“Did we let him know all of ours?” Keith spoke up, catching on to Shiro’s train of thought. “No, because you still kept things hidden from him. It would be like the pot calling the kettle black.”

 

“No it wouldn’t Keith!” Pidge looked affronted. “We weren’t murdering innocent people for some gain!”

 

Matt’s voice drifted through the system, the man probably behind some boxes. “Then what do you call all the missions you’ve fought Katie? What do you call the people on the ships you blow up?” The green paladin opened her mouth, and then closed it in anger.

 

“I don’t even see what that had to do with anything.” Hunk said, “Shiro, are you trying to say we should just let him walk around free?”

 

“No, he still is some sort of a threat. Until he clears that up, he will be a threat.” Shiro leaned on the back of Keith’s chair, looking directly into the camera on Black. “But, if we treat him the same way the Galra treat their prisoners, we aren’t any better. Plus-” he held up a hand as Pidge, Romelle, and Hunk began to speak. “If he truly forgot what he did, or a big majority of what he did, it makes no sense to treat him like he’s guilty. We can not be the judge, jury, and executioner.”

 

“So, you want him, a known traitor to Voltron,” Allura’s voice grew even colder, the tone competing with the best of Galran generals and leaders. “To walk around and interact with us? Shiro, have you gone mad? I certainly wouldn’t even dream of the concept.”

 

“Why don’t we put it to a vote?” Coran spoke up, the solitary voice of organization right now. “Lance and Shiro both make some points, and so do Allura and Romelle, so why don’t we just make sure that everyone has a chance to say whether or not they agree with this idea.” 

 

“Well, I can already tell you I don’t.” Allura declared, Romelle nodding alongside her.

 

“Ditto. I’m not sure if he’s trustworthy after he tried to kill us.” Hunk explained.

 

“I think we should do it as long as we’re able to keep a close eye on him.” Krolia said.

 

Romelle sneered. “I don’t think I’ll trust a Galra to vote on the well-being of another. It’s not fair to the people hurt by your actions.”

 

“I was on Earth for years, and I have always fought against the tyrannical empire Zarkon ran! How dare you insinuate that I would-”

 

“Continue on your descendants’ legacy? Why of course, isn’t tradition all the Galra care for?”

 

“That’s enough Romelle.” Shiro’s gaze turned cold, and the Altean woman flinched. “You are out of line. Krolia has been proven to be an ally. Her words are just as important as yours.” He sighed, making eye contact with his younger brother for a moment before he spoke again. “I agree with Krolia.”

 

“This is absurd! Insane!” Pidge’s voice rang through the connection. “We can’t trust the guy and he’s already shown he won’t tell us the full truth! I say no.”

 

“If he truly doesn’t remember it though, he probably doesn’t have the same attitudes he had before.” Matt said, still behind the boxes, “We could teach him how to be a decent person and run an empire. I’m down for it.” Pidge looked shocked for a second, but it quickly passed.

 

“I agree, this is almost the perfect timing for us,” Keith continued flying Black, leading the Lions as they spoke. “We have an entire flight towards Earth to cement a partnership with a leader of the Galra Empire that we know is far more inclined to be peaceful. It’s worth the risk.”

 

“Well, Lance what do you think?” Hunk asked, “You’re the one that’s actually talked to him.”

 

“Against orders, might I remind you.”

 

Lance hated the fact that people were finally listening to him only because there was a vote. Why couldn’t they keep this same energy when he’s trying to help with missions? Why couldn’t they make him feel like part of the team? Like he didn’t have to be alone? 

 

He knew what his vote would be. He knew what his vote would be long before the voting even began.

* * *

 

Lotor felt animosity around him. There were the three Alteans, each visibly on a different degree of hatred, the green armored one both angry at him and at an older person, probably a brother of theirs. The yellow armored one didn’t seem to be so angry, just untrusting of him, but Lotor could work with that, he just needs to open his mouth and start speaking.

 

He can’t start speaking, he doesn’t know everything, what will he say that’s befitting an heir to the empire- “I’m sorry. I’m so dreadfully sorry for anything I’ve done.”

 

That’s all he can honestly say without making a guess at things he doesn’t remember.

Lotor doesn’t understand her questions, doesn’t understand what she means about him “committing crimes against the universe” for some perverse gain. Do they have the wrong person? Do they want his father? 

 

“I can let you know right now,” he says with a low voice, not sure if he’s trying to be intimidating or trying not to cry. “If you’re trying to scare my father into showing up, it’s not going to work. Try insulting him, he hates having his pride ruined.”

 

“We already know you’re father isn’t showing up.” The princess, Allura, said. “Do you truly not remember much?”

 

“Why won’t he show up? Is he too busy?” The group looked around at each other, sizing up his words, their implications, what this means, a host of things that he cannot understand right now before the man with white hair, Shiro, answers.

 

“Zarkon isn’t coming. He died-” There was a pause as Shiro figured out what was the best way to explain something. “-by your hands.”

 

Why doesn’t he remember?

* * *

 

Overexposure to quintessence. That’s what Allura tells the group while Lotor heads off to the bathroom to clean up and change, Krolia going to bodyguard him.

 

“Overexposure does cause you to turn into a monster, but while we were going over Lotor’s notes, there was a pattern of how the person acted.” Allura put her hands together and pulled them apart, quintessence flowing between her fingers to shape a small book. “After a few hundred doboshes, memory loss is a common side effect.”

 

“So he’s being honest about losing his memory, it still doesn’t negate the fact that he did it with full consciousness.” Pidge grumbled. 

 

Allura pursed her lips together. “That would be true, but-”

 

“What do you mean that would be true? He did it! He remembers now that we’ve told him, but he did it!” Romelle interjected, obviously angry. Hunk shrunk back, sitting next to Lance. Keith reached out for the book, only to have his hand slapped away by the princess.

 

“In most, if not all, cases of overexposure, repeated spikes of energy caused personality shifts in it’s victims. In other cases, it allowed the person to be vulnerable to suggestions from people who are proficient with alchemy.” Allura flipped through the book as she spoke, pointing out more cases and examples. After she finished going through the journal, she concluded. “Generally, the spikes allow brainwashing and mind control. So, as much as I hate to admit it, that might not have been Lotor.”

 

Shiro sat up, leaning on Keith to balance out the missing weight of his arm. “So, when were the spikes? During the time in the field?”

 

“No,” Hunk held up a finger, “If he doesn’t remember what he did, building nega-Voltron, the two colonies, everything else, it may have been earlier.”

 

“So what do we do?” Pidge asked.

 

“Ask him.” Lance supplied, calmly shrugging as he speaks. “See when his last memory was, move on from there.” 

 

“Lance has a point. It makes the most sense, especially because I drained the excess quintessence away.”  Allura closed the notebook and it vanished with a clap of her hands. “It’s probably the safest way we’ll be able to actually figure out if we can trust Lotor after we’ve told him everything.”

 

“It can’t be all of us,” Keith warned, “it would feel too much like an interrogation. It should be someone who Lotor can trust, and someone who can point out small things about people.”

 

Pidge yawned and stretched, getting up from off of the ground. “So, who wants to talk to the prince? I definitely am not grabbing that short straw.”


	2. The Universe Thinks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance stopped swinging his sword, the orbs stopping in response to the sudden stillness. What did he have to offer to the team?

Lance wasn’t sure what to make of Lotor after he woke up. He had been sharing his lion with the prince, mostly because 3/5ths of the lions immediately refused to house the man. He wonders why he’s allowing the prince to stay with him.

 

At least he has plenty of time to wonder and train while Allura and Shiro go to talk to one of the leaders involved in the Coalition. He pulls out some of the training orbs, a few guiding posts to keep everything in one place, and makes his way to a more private part of the planet.

 

As he sets up, he starts thinking about the people he’s around, the people he works with to save the universe. And what they contribute, actually contribute, unlike him.

 

It was easy to start out with Shiro, he ran the paladins, even his clone was a natural born, made, leader. He was able to make sure that the team worked like an oil machine, and it showed whenever he placed the right people in the right spots. Lance sniped an orb as he remembered that he was usually told to follow someone else and support them from a distance.

 

Keith and Krolia were practically the same in his eyes. Both were so down to the planet that they were practically at the core, although Krolia was better at relaxing before she burned herself out. He had to keep on dragging Keith to the pool to get him to cool off. Either way, the duo were practically masters of flying by the seat of their pants, whether it be into the middle of a big team fight or out of Lance’s sightline as tried to provide cover fire.

 

Pidge was a deity, a goddess when it came to technology, Matt a god when it came to science in general. The siblings made sure that Voltron was in working order, and upgraded things when they needed to be upgraded. Lance was pretty sure that all the time spent around robots and computers caused Pidge to have the emotional and empathetic range of a teaspoon, while he and Matt were both masters of hiding feelings through laughter and jokes. Matt did pull him after a comment from Pidge threatened to drag him under like a riptide.

 

Coran and Allura were great at keeping the team focused, pointing out problems and issues needed to be fixed, although they needed help for figuring out solutions for those problems. Coran was great at bringing attention to problems in the group, while Allura could focus well on tasks that kept the Coalition in motion. The blue paladin just felt it was weird that their bubbly personalities were good at delivering bad news until he remembered that they woke up in cryopods thousands of years after the death of their planet.

 

On the opposite end, Hunk was great at coming up with solutions, but the problem could literally hit him upside the head and he wouldn’t even notice it half the time. Lance knew that meant communicating his feelings had to actually be verbal and direct, but considering that Hunk stayed near Pidge, and the only thing sharper than her intellect was her wit, he never thought it was worth it. Besides, Hunk had problems with gray areas, better at understanding the world with switches and levers than dials.

 

By this point, the sniper rifle had transformed into the broadsword Lance had summoned on the castle, and the paladin went nuts, slashing through the orbs almost as fast as they could reform and fly around him, each swing taking out at least 3, with no care at all about his stance.

 

It was cathartic, a way to get rid of his anger at himself. 

 

What did he have to offer to the team? Shiro could lead a heated discussion, making sure that every reasonable idea gets heard, able to calm down any tension before it cracks like a bone.

 

What did he have to offer to the team? Allura and Coran could tell everyone a reasonable end goal.

 

What did he have to offer to the team? Hunk could come up with a decent plan, especially when it becomes refined on the razor sharp minds of everyone else on the team.

 

What did he have to offer to the team? Matt and Pidge could make a device that does exactly what they tell it to do, exactly what the team needs it to do.

 

What did he have to offer to the team? Keith and Krolia could get the device to where it needs to be before he could even finish putting on his armor. Krolia knew a lot about the Galra’s security systems and procedures, and Keith could be a man possessed when he wants to be.

 

Lance stopped swinging his sword, the orbs stopping in response to the sudden stillness. What did he have to offer to the team?

 

Nothing. Nothing but the muscle and space of an untalented boy from Cuba.

* * *

 

Lotor felt awkwardly patronized around the paladins of Voltron, almost as if he were a child being told he wet his bed in the middle of the night 5 days ago and he’s just being told about it. Only the wetting the bed was actually genocide, and he was committing it up until yesterday.

 

He didn’t know where he was going with that metaphor, and that scared him. Who was he? How many of his actions would he have done if he was in his right mind?

 

Would Haggar and Zarkon get to him?

 

The prince decides to go on a walk before he end up asking too many questions with too many answers he doesn’t want to hear, checking in with Matthew, the human nodding before he remotely activates a screen, a radar that has a dot blinking in time with the sleek bracelets on Lotor’s wrist.

 

So is this how it’s like to be a prisoner of war? He wonders as he wanders, Galran royalty garb replaced with a paladin undersuit, hair far shorter than he remembers, stories of what he had done told to him, but not finding a purchase in his memories. He thinks of his last tangible memory: chanting, panic, and him trapped in a circle of quintessence that’s growing ever so smaller until the wall touches his skin and everything grows white.

 

He ends up coming back to reality at the sound of a sword slicing through something. He grows on edge, taking lighter steps as he looks towards the direction of the sound, ears perking up as he hears more and more slashes. Taking a look into a clearing, he notices the blue paladin, the one they called Lance, moving around with an Altean broadsword, his swings powerful, yet clumsy.

 

Lotor watched, entranced by the potential the paladin had, but cringing at his atrocious form. He sighed whenever Lance stumbled due to his stance, saving an orb from the arc of his incredible strikes.

 

When Lance stops fighting and the orbs stop circling him, Lotor first assumes that there was a time limit to the training session. When Lance continues to stay there, standing, he gets nervous. Is he okay? Should Lotor check on him?

 

Before he’s able to comprehend it, he’s helping Lance out of a panic attack, and offering to train him with the broadsword.

 

Lance gives him a look. It’s one of hopeful trust, or that’s how Lotor chooses to interpret it. “Sure.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you guys have any more ideas, don't be afraid to comment them! Also, just comment if you want to say something. I plan on writing a lot soon, so this will update, along with other things.


	3. The Astronomer Prays

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adam is not a priest. And he knows he’s not a monk. Adam is an astronomer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fuck voltron for what they did to adam and how they treat all their lgbt characters. this chapter and many more will be dedicated to actually giving them justice and making sure things are well written.
> 
> That being said, this chapter is based around The Astronomer from Ghost Quartet.

Adam is not a priest. And he knows he’s not a monk. And he hasn’t gone to church much before the mission, but now whenever he goes to that small one a few miles from his apartment, he tries to sing as loud as he can.

 

~~ He sings loud for someone who can’t. ~~

 

Adam is an astronomer, and when he looks through his telescope, he is certain of the (known) universe, and the wonder he gets from the stars is palpable.

 

And he never saw, or did, anything he couldn’t blame on his mind. L ~~ike driving Takashi away.~~ So he couldn’t really ever think that any being existed, even with all the ghost stories Takashi told him.

 

But he still likes to sing. Even though songs usually reserved for his  ~~ ex- ~~ fiance’s ears still give him a bit of grief with the notes, he likes to sing, and when he hears the call to prayer lightly buzzing through the speakers, the melodies twisting and causing the air to spark lights it’s filled with diamonds, that’s when he wishes he sounded like the quartet that led most of the songs.

 

But he doesn’t have the time to practice. He has work to do.

* * *

 

Work takes a lot of time and effort from Adam. He still hasn't’ gotten over his abysmal knowledge over anything not related to astronomy and aerospace, one of the things that Takashi admitted he found both endearing and awkward. The astronomer gives a light chuckle at their first date, especially the spaghetti incident.

 

But beyond everything he’s horrible in multiple aspects: He’s confounded by music, babies, laughter, stories, goodness, infinity, and luck, to name a few.

 

~~ He never dwells on the fact that he’s confused by the notion that somebody, that Takashi Shirogane, loves him. But he does know that drugs make him crazy. He can at least take that much credit. ~~

 

He remembers that one time, a few months after Shiro left for Kerberos, that one of the new recruits gave him an odd look in his class. Later in his office hours, that very same cadet told them it felt like he had an old soul. Or a dead one, he can’t remember it too clearly.

 

He falls asleep at his desk with the asinine thought that he still didn’t practice enough.

* * *

 

Later on, during one of his free weekends, Adam ends up stumbling upon a Youtube video about some man from Iran who says he can talk to ghosts. Curious, in an academic and not at all desperate way ( ~~because why would he want to try and talk to his dead fiance when it’s too late to say that his own logic was flawed?~~ ), he clicks, and after a few minutes, has a checklist of key notes:

 

  1. The way he talks to ghosts is through isolation. He hasn’t spoken to a living person in 42 years.
  2. He stares at his wall and turns his mind off everyday to become “one with the universe”.
  3. He says that every soul that ever died is living in “the shadows of the sky”. Which has no term that easily accessible on Google. 



 

So logically, as Adam is a scientist that goes through the scientific process, if this is what the would have to do for the confirmed worst case scenario, if 42 years, if 504 months, if 15,340.5 days is the turnaround for the sheer hope of a conversation, Adam is just afraid.

 

He’s afraid that he doesn’t have the time, he’s afraid he’ll never get to see Tashi again, he’s afraid that his last words to the man he loves, the star of his universe weren’t words of encouragement but of anger and disgruntlement.

 

Adam is glad he’s home in the few minutes it takes him to drink a glass of whiskey and go to bed with the prayer that Takashi is alive and on his way back home in the corner of his mind. 

 

The last sight he sees before sleep takes him is the nightlight in the corner of the room, a small chromatic piece that they both got, still on. 


End file.
